Hi, I have a very close friend A and another common friend B. Recently, B told me that A’s husband proposed to her for friendship but she refused. I said, “ok”. “Why is she telling me in the first place?”, I thought. May be because I am very close to A and B is just trying to play safe. I don’t know the exact thing. But, I am really upset for I know my very close friend’s husband has not been faithful and I can’t do anything about it. Should I tell this to A? I am in a fix. Please advise. Regards, Kritika (name changed), Bhopal
Thank you for reaching out and I can only imagine your dilemma as you feel pulled in 2 directions and are not sure how to handle this.
Firstly, are you sure that Friend A’s husband has bene unfaithful? Does he have a history of it? Could it be that Friend B is just making up stories?
If the answer to these questions is that you are 100% sure that Friend A’s husband has been unfaithful and will continue to be so, I would suggest that you need to broach this with your friend A. In all probability she already has a sense of it and might be relived to talk about it with you. She may be in denial about it first or embarrassed to talk about it, but when you approach her as a genuine loving friend who cares about her well-being and you assure her of your confidentially, she will see that you are not being judgmental of her or her ‘straying’ husband. Do not push her to take any decisions; just hear her out and perhaps if she needs, guide her towards a professional counsellor.
So, Kritika, though this might initially be a difficult discussion, am sure if you were in her place you would want to know too and have a good friend support you through this thinking process. All the best, you can do it!