How to design your dream life? - 12 Steps to Create the Life You Actually Want to Live

I used to think my life was the dream. From the outside, everything seemed perfect: a supportive family, a carefree attitude, and achievements that others admired. But let me tell you something—there’s nothing heavier than carrying the weight of a smile when your heart is empty. That void, the one no one talks about, was my constant companion.

Growing up, no one pulled me aside to explain the power of mindset. My parents gave me love, my teachers handed me lessons, and my mentors sparked ambition. But they never taught me how to master the space between my ears, the space where doubt whispers, where fear lingers, and where destiny begins.

Let me take you back to the days when I thought I was invincible. I was young and determined to forge my path. I rented a tiny apartment, a glorified closet crawling with cockroaches and the remnants of someone else’s dreams. On the outside, I was the life of the party, always saying “yes” to plans and chasing every fleeting high. But at 3 a.m., when the music faded and the distractions disappeared, I was alone with my thoughts. And that loneliness was deafening.

The same pattern applied to my body, always on some diet, starving myself, killing myself with endless high-intensity workouts, because I glorified being thin. My mother jokingly used to call me the moon because it keeps changing its size. Though it was a cute joke, it showed the part of me that was just running in cycles, making the same mistakes instead of facing the issue headlong. 

I sat on my mattress one night, tears streaming down my face, asking questions I was too scared to answer: 

“Why am I here? Why do I keep repeating the same cycles? Why do my relationships feel broken? Why do I feel like I’m running in circles, chasing problems instead of purpose?”

That night was my breaking point. But here’s the thing about breaking—it doesn’t destroy you. It reveals you.

When everything came to a halt, I found stillness. And in that stillness, I discovered yoga. Not just as a practice, but as a lifeline. Yoga reconnected me to my breath, to my body, and to the present moment. Then came coaching—an awakening that turned my pity into purpose. I realized that the life I was living wasn’t mine. It was stitched together by societal expectations, inherited beliefs, and a version of success that didn’t fit me.

For the first time, I stopped chasing and started creating. I decided to design my life, not for appearances, not for applause, but for alignment.

And here’s what I learned: transformation isn’t glamorous. It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s also liberating. Every setback, every sleepless night, every tear-filled prayer led me closer to the life I was meant to live.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, if you’ve ever wondered why the same patterns keep showing up, let me remind you: your past doesn’t define you. Your pain doesn’t own you. You are one decision away from rewriting your story.

Because life doesn’t just happen. We create it. One choice, one breath, one courageous step at a time.

What is Life by Design? 

Life by Design isn’t about luck or chance; it’s about intention. It’s a framework I created to transform chaos into clarity, dreams into plans, and goals into realities. Think of it as a vision board with a practical roadmap.

Abraham Hicks puts it perfectly:
"Your work is not to make it happen. Your work is to let it happen. And to let it happen, you have to find the feeling place of it happening."

This offers you that space of knowingness.

Most of us are familiar with the Wheel of Life, a tool that evaluates different aspects of our lives. But I wanted to go deeper. Life by Design identifies 12 categories of human experience—from health and relationships to finances and spirituality—and creates a structured plan for each.

The 12 Categories of Life by Design:

1. Health and Fitness
2. Love
3. Relationships
4. Experiences
5. Spirituality
6. Finances
7. Career
8. Personal Growth
9. Fun and Leisure
10. Environment
11. Contribution
12. Identity

Why 12? Because life isn’t just about a few key areas. It’s a mosaic of experiences, and neglecting even one can leave you feeling incomplete.

The Process:

James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, says:
"Success is the product of daily habits—not once-in-a-lifetime transformations."

Here’s how you can begin your journey:

1. Reflect and Get Real: Start by taking stock of your life. Where are you thriving? Where are you struggling? Be brutally honest. This isn’t the time for sugar-coating.
2. Create a Vision: Visualize your ideal self in each category. What does your dream relationship look like? What kind of work-life balance do you crave? What’s the legacy you want to leave?
3. Break It Down: Translate your vision into actionable steps. For example, if your goal is better health, start with small, sustainable changes like a 5-minute daily workout or going for walks or choosing one healthy habit.
4. Focus with Intention: Dedicate 21 days to one category at a time. This creates momentum without overwhelming your brain.
5. Create a Plan: Break each vision into actionable steps. Assign one month to focus on each category. Why a month? Because science shows it takes about 21 days to form a habit. A month gives you time to embed new behaviors.
6. Commit to the Journey: Life doesn’t happen in grand moments; it happens in micro-decisions. How you respond to an email, handle a tough conversation, or start your morning sets the tone. The more intentional your small actions, the greater your transformation.

A Personal Breakthrough

Let me share an example from my journey. When I worked on the “Identity” category, I realized I was living as a “people pleaser.” My decisions often revolved around others’ approval rather than my own happiness. Through Life by Design, I rewired that narrative. I set boundaries, said no to what didn’t align, and yes to opportunities that scared me but felt true. The result? A life where I feel empowered, not exhausted.

Stories of resilience always ignite my soul. Lionel Messi, for instance, faced immense odds. Told he was too small for football, Messi underwent daily growth hormone injections, often enduring needles on his own at night. Later, a near heart attack almost ended his career. Yet, his determination and methodical approach—practicing endlessly and nurturing his mindset—turned him into one of the greatest athletes of all time.

Why Life by Design Works

This method doesn’t rely on motivation, which ebbs and flows. It’s grounded in strategy, neuroscience, and consistent action. By focusing on one area at a time, you reduce overwhelm and create sustainable change. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress.

The Science of Change

Change doesn’t happen by chance; it’s intentional and systematic. A fascinating study on the 21-day Mandala pattern reveals that rewiring your brain and creating new habits requires at least three weeks of consistent practice. This insight is the cornerstone of my Life by Design program.

In Ascension Codes, I write:
"Transformation isn’t linear; it’s layered. Each action you take ripples across dimensions you cannot yet see, aligning your energy with your deepest desires."

This alignment is what Life by Design teaches: designing your future by nurturing each layer of your existence.

Your Turn

Imagine waking up each day knowing you’re living a life you’ve consciously created. Imagine having the energy, focus, and joy to navigate challenges and embrace opportunities. That’s what Life by Design offers.

Start today. Choose one category, reflect on where you are and where you want to be, then design a plan to bridge the gap. You’re not just designing a better year; you’re designing a better you.

And remember: You’re one intentional decision away from the life of your dream